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Despite having been raised by a particularly prudish grandmother, I was fortunate to spend my formative teen years in the sex-positive social environment of New Jersey and the New York City of the 90's, where most of my friends openly and unapologetically experimented with their sexuality and nobody thought anything of it (on the contrary, it was a badge of honor among my buds). So, it's not a stretch to call myself “pansexual” because, to me, it's about individual attraction, not suffocating gender roles and expectations.

That said, I've been with more boys than girls, plus I

Hanakotoba Flower

have more words of warning about men than women when it comes to safety concerns on the road. So, a lot of what I say on the topic of travel dating in this book harkens back to my heterosexual experiences. I have, however, hooked up with enough members of the same sex to be painfully aware of the social stigma, double-standards and judgment that comes with it. To say the least, queer dating is still heavily an “underground” activity in most parts of the world. The level of unhealthy sexual attention and ignorant hatred aimed at homosexuality is very real and shockingly vicious. As a person who has indulged in some pretty overt displays of PDA with men, doing the same with women never felt as welcome or safe in most countries I've visited.


Love does find a way, though, that much I know. 

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